James Chapa PhD
Loneliness is an illusion. When you are lonely, you may begin to think that you do not matter and that you are different or separate from others. There is a disconnect between how you perceive yourself and how others perceive you. Those thoughts are not facts but interpretations. Loneliness comes and goes as it is a temporary emotional state and not a permanent state of mind. You have to remember that the emotion of loneliness is a signal, not an absolute verdict or statement. Your brain is signalling that it wants a connection. This does not mean that you currently lack a connection, which is what most people begin to believe. When a person suffering from such an affliction finally comes to the realization that this emotional state is universally shared, that state of being is dissolved. The term ‘loneliness’ was not used in the English language until the late 16th century. It was originally an objective, physical state such as solitude. The term did not have a negative connotation at this point. Solitude used to have a positive spiritual connotation. This word only earned a negative connotation in the 19th century when it became the painful emotion of lacking companionship. From the 16th to the 19th century, loneliness shifted from a physical state to the emotional experience of social isolation. The modern definition of loneliness is inaccurate. Loneliness just means that you are alone, wanting a connection, and being alone does not have to be a bad thing.