An apology is a voluntary expression of regret or remorse for actions, while apologizing is the act of expressing regret or remorse.
It may be called saying sorry.
The goal of apologizing is generally forgiveness, reconciliation, and restoration of the relationship between the people involved in a dispute.
Giving an apology as early as possible leads to less conflict during the discussion and increases communication satisfaction.
The way the apology is presented affects the outcome and the process of forgiveness.
The perception of remorse is essential to an apology, and the greater the perception of remorse the more effective the apology.
An effective apology reduces negative consequences and facilitates cognitive and behavioral changes associated with forgiveness.
Putting genuine emotion into an apology generally helps resolve disputes more quickly and helps rid negative emotions faster.
The basic elements of an apology communicate:
The person apologizing was, in some way, responsible for the unjust actions taken.
That the person apologizing is aware of the injustices that resulted from those actions.
That the person apologizing intends to behave differently in the future.
Apologies require the person apologizing to hold certain emotions, especially regret or remorse.
The relevant difference between regret and remorse is that people who feel remorse believe that the situation was caused by their actions or inactions, whereas people can feel regret for situations beyond their control or outside of their involvement.
The way an apology is communicated and its timing affects the likelihood of success.
The timing of the apology, the importance of the relationship, and the characteristics of the precipitating event are factors that affect whether an apology will be acknowledged or gain forgiveness.
With empathy as the mediator between apologies and forgiveness and remorse as the essential part to an apology, one can expect empathy to mediate perceived remorse forgiveness.
Apologizing shortly after the incident, or after the resulting problems were brought to the attention of the offender, can increase the apology’s effectiveness.
The most effective apology statements focus on the harm done to victims while minimizing descriptions of the offender’s context, motivation, or justification.
An effective statement apologizes for the offender’s own actions, and not for other people’s reactions to those actions.
Effective apologies clearly express remorse and may name efforts of restitution that the offender commits to undertake.
Apologies are more effective when they cost the offender something, whether that cost is financial, social status, or a commitment to do better in the future.
Integrative communication avoids conflict by having those involved reveal their emotions in a calm manner.
With communication in relationship, people will either avoid the other person, seek revenge, or forgive.
Satisfying conversations are associated with delayed apologies and attributions of understanding.
Communicating a sincere apology and displaying regret captures a genuine and positive response while acknowledging the recipient’s feelings.
When a group is at fault, (abusiness) the effects of an apology might depend upon the person who makes the apology.
Trust is broken with wrongful actions and people expect to receive apologies in order to give forgiveness to re-establish the socio-cultural order.
For political and business leaders, public apologies involve some risks, as an apology that is too little, too late, or too transparent can result in more damage.
Public leaders may refuse to apologize to avoid being seen as incompetent.
Some US states have laws that allow healthcare providers to apologize for bad outcomes without the apology being considered evidence of wrongdoing for malpractice claims.
A forced apology, is one in which the perceived offender is coerced into making an apology,
Today the forced apology is dismissed as a meaningless theatrical gesture.
It is generally accepted that an apology must be voluntary to be acceptable.
Non-apology apology: is a statement that looks like an apology but does not express remorse.
Insincere apology: a statement that expresses remorse that is not felt.
Each conflict is different, and affects the time in which an apology should be made.
People perceive wrongful actions in various ways and need time to cope with the circumstances and to process the offense.
Communicating an apology varies between relationships, politicians, organizations, and companies because of what is expected by the individual, media, or society.
Another important factor is the age of the individuals and what they require to forgive and move on.
Apologies may be ambiguous and be made in order to satisfy the victim’s needs and feel more as an empty gesture.
Apologies are not always sincere and may be used for manipulation purposes.
Repeated or frequent apologies can be more offensive than never apologizing.
Apologizing guidelines:
Acknowledge the mistake, by stating what you are apologizing for.
Taking responsibility for your actions without making excuses.
Expressing regret, conveying genuine remorse for your action
Offer a solution If possible, to rectify the situation or what steps you’re taking to prevent it from happening again.
Ask for forgiveness showing that you value the relationship and are looking forward to mending it.
Deliver the apology at an appropriate time and in a sincere manner.